Many of us here in Australia regret the many things we have saved a lot of time, but the words came out of our mouths before we engaged our brains. We knew it was the wrong thing to say immediately because we made people feel uncomfortable and it is so easy to see by their body language that they were not happy with our opinion at that time. It is unfortunate that we sometimes say the wrong thing at the wrong times, and sometimes we say too much when we should stop talking minutes before. We end up saying the wrong things and getting ourselves into trouble.
I suppose we could consider putting a ballgag in our mouths when we engage in conversation with friends, family and strangers but this is somewhat extreme and so we need to find other ways to stop ourselves saying cruel and untruthful things. If the above describes you perfectly and you would like to make some changes in your life so that you don’t keep pushing people away due to the things that you say, then maybe the following top tips can help.
- Think before you speak – You would think that this would be an automatic thing to do, but many of us just want to be involved in the conversation, and so we will say anything just to be a part of it. All it takes is a few seconds for you to stop for a moment, then think about what you’re about to say and figure out if it is appropriate or not. This will save you a lot of stress and a lot of hassle and it would certainly stop you getting into arguments with the people that you love.
- Take account of your emotional state – If something has upset you previously and you’re still carrying that hurt around with you then you should try to not engage in meaningful conversations with friends and family. If you are aware that you are in a bad mood then it doesn’t make sense to talk to anyone unless you have something kind to say. Try to figure out what was upset you in the first place and remove this from your life.
- Try to self regulate yourself – Try not to put yourself in a situation where there are so many things happening at the same time, and you are under some stress. You do not want to be engaging in any kind of social interaction when your anxiety levels are high. If you feel that you’re going to say the wrong thing, then take a moment to breathe, and if at all possible, try to do some quick bursts of exercise that will help to calm you down.
We live in a very high stress society and so we are constantly under pressure to perform both in a working capacity and in a social capacity as well. Clearly we want the promotion and we want to be able to climb the corporate ladder but we need to be careful about what we say at any given time. Take note of the people that you are talking to and don’t just assume that they enjoy a joke and that they want to talk about any topic. Take the time to know the people that you’re talking to and this will help you to make better decisions when it comes to speaking out about something contentious.
