Letting Go of Resentments •

Letting go of resentments is not easy, but it can be done. Here are some things to consider when you’re ready to move on.

The letting go of resentment worksheet is a tool that can be used to help people let go of their resentments.

Cindy Maynard, Ph.D.

We are all vulnerable to injustice. Divorce, road rage, rudeness, and domestic violence are all instances of unpleasant circumstances we face on a daily basis. Some events may have a long-term detrimental effect on our everyday interactions with people as well as our mental health. How we respond to these injustices may decide whether we develop despair, anxiety, or stress, or if we utilize ways to help us overcome these challenges and live better, more meaningful lives. Forgiveness practice is one approach. 

Numerous advantages have been discovered via research. Forgiveness offers significant physical and psychological advantages that aid in mental health improvement. Forgiveness leads to emotional, psychological, physical, and spiritual healing, as well as a reduction in unpleasant emotions such as anger, sadness, and worry. Forgiveness may help us live more peaceful and fulfilling lives by reducing the anguish and suffering caused by transgressions. 

Forgiveness as a notion has been around for hundreds of years, with origins in the Christian gospels and many popular faiths. Forgiveness therapy has lately gained traction in the psychological profession, as well as national conferences, prominent colleges, and talk programs. From American slavery to Rwandan genocide to German Nazi war crimes, forgiveness has been used to help heal deep scars in many international wars. 

We’re going to get through this together, Atascadero


At a forensic facility where I used to work, I co-facilitated a class for many years on Letting go of Resentments. I began to see what a powerful tool forgiveness was in helping these incarcerated men lower their resentments and grievances towards others and learn better ways of coping and healing their relationships. As one of the participants in the forgiveness class said, “I hadn’t spoken to my brother for years. When he got sick and almost died, I had to let go of my anger – life was just too short, and I may not get another opportunity.” Another participant stated, “Forgiving myself and others has opened the door to self-nurturing and the love of family and friends that I once shut out because I felt so undeserving.” 

Who among us would refuse to let go?

However, many individuals are unclear about what forgiveness is, making forgiving more difficult. Some people think forgiving is a sign of weakness. To forgive, on the other hand, requires strength and bravery. Forgiveness does not imply that one condones, denies, forgets, or excuses one’s actions. It doesn’t imply you have to reconcile with your offender or even see him or her again. It also isn’t about helping people feel better. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is the process of letting go of anger and animosity and finding peace in the process. It’s all about reclaiming your power and feeling at ease. It’s for you, not for the criminal. It’s also a process rather than a one-time occurrence. It takes a lot of work for most of us to eventually let go. 

Here are some helpful suggestions for letting go of resentments and grievances: 

  1. Accept your feelings of rage. Don’t try to hide it.
  2. Talk things over with someone who knows the forgiving process and is willing to simply listen.
  3. Don’t be a victim—remember, it’s your process, not the offender’s.
  4. Make a vow to forgive and put it into practice.
  5. Begin to feel empathy or sympathy for the offender by seeing them as a human being rather than a villain. To put it another way, put yourself in the shoes of the other person. 

As a consequence of going through the forgiving process, you may discover new meaning or purpose in life, or at the absolute least, you may have removed a weight you’ve been carrying for years. Keep in mind that this is for you, not for them. It’s all about resuming your life and finding serenity.  

Here are some tools that my students utilized to assist them with the process: 

  • Books, seminars, podcasts, and CDs on forgiveness are available.
  • Journaling 
  • composing a letter to the criminal (and either burning it or sending it)
  • Sharing with a friend or therapist who is familiar with the process of forgiveness
  • Using spirituality and faith 
  • Nature

Keeping hatred, wrath, animosity, and indignation inside of us will ultimately poison us. Forgiveness enables us to complete unfinished tasks. We acquire control over our thoughts and feelings when we practice these methods. We transform our resentment narrative into one of forgiveness.

Cindy Maynard, Ph.D., RD, is a registered dietitian, health psychologist, and health and fitness writer. Dr. Maynard is enthusiastic about health and wellness, as well as encouraging others to live healthier lives. [email protected] is her email address.

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Letting go of resentment is difficult. It’s hard to forgive and forget what has happened in the past. However, it’s important to do so because it will help you move on with your life. Reference: letting go of resentment quotes.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does letting go of resentment mean?

Letting go of resentment means to be at peace with the past and move on.

Why is it important to let go of resentment?

It is important to let go of resentment because it can cause a lot of problems. Resentment is one of the most powerful emotions that we feel and it can lead to feelings of anger, bitterness, or revenge.

Why is it so hard to let resentment go?

It is difficult to let resentment go because it is a feeling that you have been carrying for a long time, and it is hard to forget about something that has been in your life for so long.

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